zortharg's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[I COME IN PEACE]

Dinoman777 you're an idiot. Oh, of COURSE, because humans are obviously objectively superior and more valuable than other animals not just from their OWN perspective but from an OUTSIDE one which has no point of reference or prior contact with humans, obviously killing the deer that the alien had just befriended and bonded with by shooting it right in front of it isn't a reason to kill the noble, holy human, which all life forms everywhere should recognize as being made in god's image, is that what you're saying? It's not like the alien even came in and watched this happen from afar, like a naturalist watching a predator-prey relationship from behind a hill with binoculars or something, like lion killing a zebra, no, the alien had made contact with the deer and it was right there and the man killed it right in front of it, and you think that isn't any reason to kill the human? After reading your comment before watching it and seeing the 'people find this review helpful' rating, I was expecting this to be some left wing extreme statement that humans are the only source of evil in the universe and that all other animals in nature get along, but no, you're just retarded. That was completely a justified response, and this was a good video. Though I thought the thing where it turned the bird into a bird-caterpillar and then sprouted wings out its back (not turning its arms into wings mind you, but gaining 2 extra limbs) was weird and creepy.

[John McCain]

The question that should have been on everyone's mind is, if this had been highly publicized, would McCain have gotten fewer or more votes in 2008? Would Obama have gotten more votes and won by even more, or would this have slid the election in McCain's favor. I don't know the answer to that question. As for me, I only vote for Vermin Supreme. What can I say. I want a zombie in every garage. Hey, maybe I should run for president. I could run on the "lifetime drivers license revocation when you hit a pedestrian, billionaire assholes have to pay taxes on their massive unrealized capital gains, strip all funding from the military and reallocate it to infrastructure and the design and construction of fusion power plants, back up the US dollar with tangible assets (but not precious metals), voting rights should be contingent on performance on a test of science/economics/common sense" platform, any one of which would lose me 90% of the vote. Yay!

[Yoda]

Smells like this it does, because eat at the Death Star Canteen he did, and a world of hurt that is asking for, yes. In the tuckus goes the hand; controlled by the hand, all my actions are, because a puppet, am I, yes.

Meh. I've seen way better yoda parodies. I remember an indy game I played in 1998 where it ended with a shot of yoda humping a pig and making a hideous yoda laugh. That was a weird game. I don't even want to remember what it was called.

[Sister deletes Zelda save]

OOOOOHHHHH! That is WICKED! I can't relate to it myself, for one reason because when I was young, that was a BIT before the era of time where this situation could have been applicable, but also because my sister and I overtly hated each others' guts. Perhaps that would have been different if she had looked and sounded like a ridiculous squeaky anime girl while breathing helium. But probably not. Damn but where did I hear a ridiculous high pitched squeaky voice like that before. Recently too. Damn it's going to eat away at me if I don't remember what that was.

But this is maybe a genuinely new idea. A new plot premise. I've never seen it before. The closest thing I can think of to it is "The Gift of the Magi". But ironic in the same way, it's still a bit different, in that, both parties were of good intentions with tragic results. I don't think I've ever seen this formula anywhere else before though.

[Joogle+]

So we have google being represented by the 3 weird conspiracy theories, that Jews run the world, that the illuminati run the world, and that there are people in power who are secretly reptile people. Yeah, I'm not kidding, there are really people who believe that.

As for me, I refuse to ever sign up for google+. As such, 5 months later now, I still can't comment on youtube, with the exception of some occasional videos which are anomalously exempted from this rule, like one of the Don Cheedle is Captain Planet videos. And you know what? One of these days it's going to catch up with Google. They're going to do something that people can't stand and Google is going to turn into Yahoo. Remember yahoo? Or as I like to call it today, "bizarro-google". Remember when you had a yahoo account that you actually used for things? Yeah, I remember when I had a yahoo account. 2007 was the end of that. It's hard to imagine using yahoo for anything anymore, isn't it. I only created a yahoo account again lately so I could reply a few times to this snarky idiot on a forum thread I ended up on when trying to research something, but that was all it was good for. Google is going to do the same thing, they're going to do enough stupid things that their plans for world domination are going to collapse like a house of cards and they'll be relegated to the yahoo club. Do you know what yahoo's been doing in the last few years? They've been using up the money they made in their heyday to buy up startup companies, HOPING to get an investment for the future, since we all know they can't make anything anyone cares about any more THEMSELVES, and then DESTROYING them, one after another, due to their criminal mismanagement by their bimbo CEO. And for the time being, they actually do have enough money to keep doing this, because although they're worthless and don't make any money on their own, by dumb luck, one of their earlier investments actually DID pan out, something called alibaba. Though they passed up a chance to buy out google in 1998. For one million dollars. That should serve as a cautionary story to google in my opinion. Keep going like you're going, and this is your future.

Oooh ooh! I know. A "Christmas Carol" parody, where Scrooge has a big "G" on his chest, and is visited by his 7-year-dead old friend with a "Y" on his chest, who warns him about his future if he keeps going like he's going! Oh that would be sweet!

[Back To Tamriel]

But then why is the singing protagonist just like he is in real life, namely a fat slob in a worn out t-shirt? He's the only one there who seems out of place. He could at least be an orc or something, that seems to fit his style, right? If I ever played one of those MMORPGs I would be a big stone golem. That kind of fits my style. Do they have golems in Oblivion? I don't even know. I'm sure they have them in some such thing. Well, associating with others in a social thing like that is something for young people to do, it's not something I even should do, it would be even creepier than this guy if I did it.

This harry partridge video is just weird in an incomprehensible way. Whereas Dr. Bees is weird in a funny and clever way. For that, I can't rate it that high, just for its comparison to his better stuff.

[Dark Knight Returns!]

When I take over the world, I will execute everyone like the tollbooth operator. Or is that a customs checkpoint, that had barbed or razor wire at the top of a big fence. Say, did the republicans go ahead and build a big fence like that on the border of Mexico while I wasn't paying attention? Or maybe a replica of the great wall of china. That would be cool. Also rich fucks who feel entitled to not shell out small amounts of money. They get executed too.

[Lousy Total Recall]

Well. Someone is trying to upstage egoraptor for drawing crazy facial expressions. And maybe largely succeeding in that endeavor. Start the reactor!

[Krangs body fetish]

This is what is known as a minimalist success. Or more colloquially, as an epic win. I like the brief "subliminal" flashes too. It's the sort of choppy animation I would probably come up with with the only crappy software I know how to use for the purpose (matlab generated signal processing involving 2d fourier transforms of images I created with ms paint, then cobbled together into an animated sequence with a combination of DVDshrink's "replace with still image" feature and roxio dvdbuilder) but the key is all in the content.

[The Exorcism of Donald Duck]

WAIT a minute now. WHEN did Mickey Mouse - or any Disney thing at all - EVER push Christian crap on anyone? This thing TOTALLY went the wrong direction. Instead of being totally DENSE, Mickey should have been shitting himself in fear of Donald, that would have had more potential. The only thing I can think of is that the author equates Disney with big business - which makes a certain amount of sense, it's on the dow jones industrial average for a reason after all - and associates big business with republicans and republicans with litigiously trying to push their religion on everyone. But Disney itself, no, they've never done that.

Also RealFaction, what the hell made during the war scared anyone? Dumbo? Bambi? Maybe some kids were crying after Bambi's mother was killed because they were sad and couldn't tell fiction from real, but SCARED, nah. Not until maybe The Black Cauldron in the early 80s did they ever do anything that could scare anyone IMHO. Well, possibly Snow White I guess.