zortharg's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[The People's Mario]

If a hammer were only a more standard fare of Mario (more like fireballs), this would kind of work, since he's red after all. But I like the style anyway. It's good artistic liberty right there.

[Mario tells the Truth]

The foundations of reality and everything I held sacred are crumbling beneath me, and is that an ocean of saliva beneath it which I'm falling into, or just the drool on my pillow. Oh, the horror, the horror, the horror! Be afraid. Be very afraid.

[Ultimate Yacht Battle]

Indeed, ho0d0o, I consider Sexualobster's work to be the primary purpose of Newgrounds. Just like homestarrunner.com used to be the primary purpose of the internet in general (R.I.P. Homestar/Strong Bad, 2000-2010), TheAmazingAtheist is the primary reason to go to youtube, as far as thing that are only to be found on youtube go that is, with filmcow as a sidenote, and sexualobster's videos being there too, and there being absolutely no conceivable reason to go to reddit, tumblr or least of all deviantart. Although on that note, I would revise your assessment to say that he and filmcow should get a collaborative show.

I loved the part with the condom, that was absolutely brilliant. And the "It's not enough" line after "I lost 100000 dollars at the craps table". REALLY. A negative number is not enough. Who would have thouht. But what exactly IS Randal? A woman with a hormonal problem, a man with a hormonal problem, or a hermaphrodite? Why does Fernando have a thing for Yogurt? And who would win in a fight, Gooseman or Popeye the Sailor Man? These questions, they must be answered!

Sexual-Lobster responds:

hey you didn't mention twitter, twitter is cool if you follow interesting people/orgs. also, tumblr can be great too, depends where you go.

anyway, glad you liked it, as to your questions, Randy identifies as a woman, I'm not really sure if she has undergone gender reassignment at some stage or is a hermaphrodite, that's her business really. fernando just likes the taste. gooseman would dominate popeye, no question.

[Batman: I Never Use Guns]

Once MacGyver also made a cannon, which he shot at a moving vehicle. I think he doesn't have a problem with projectile weapons, they just have to be handmade by HIM from makeshift objects and horribly impractical.

And so, in line with that, I know what Batman's excuse can be! He just doesn't like firing guns that he holds in his HANDS while he's firing them! So he can have it mounted on a TURRET on his CAR or his AIRPLANE, he just doesn't want to pull the trigger on something he's holding, you see.

So all you have to do is get MacGyver to build a weapon with his own hands that fires automatically without being held, and then that weapon would be usable by Batman OR MacGyver! Yay!

[Inu-Yasha in a Nutshell]

Yes, the way she said (and I mean the artist who made this video by "she", not inuyasha) "crushed my dreams, crushed them so hard!" was just so perfect. I nominate you for an oscar! For a trolly, heh heh. There should be an award for most snarky, perfect satire, and it should be called a "Trolly", and it should accompany a little golden figurine of a troll under a bridge. Yep. Pretty much Inuyasha in a nutshell. Ha ha. Or at least the start of it. After the synopsis here, it only is downhill from there, it's just sickening romance, and it will somehow make you tired of japanese monsters, it's always "youkai this, youkai that". But this is definitely a flawless summary of the first few episodes. I liked the dancing ears. Kind of like the "dancing teeth" Terry Gilliam animation from Monty Python's flying circus.

Charquins101 gee I don't know, hmmm, why does inuyasha sound like a "gurl"? Here's irony for you, maybe you should have noticed the USERNAME of the author is "Gabugurl", even misspelled the same way you did it? I know, I know, it's a cliche left over from 4chan, that there are no girls on the internet, except it's not actually true, and so she's left with the choice between trying to do a deep impersonated male voice, which wouldn't be as funny, or make her voice even higher and shriller, almost in the style of the other "QQQQ in a nutshell" videos like the ones from channelcat/egoraptor (who is now one of the gamegrumps on youtube, in case you're wondering what egoraptor is doing with himself now). What should she have done to satisfy you, not make the video because only males are fit to troll inuyasha in a hilarious way? Go dancing ears, go!

[MK: Luigi Death Stare]

Kind of reminds me of the "It Sucks to Be Weegie" series on deviantart.

[Dragon Ball Multiverse 3]

What a WEIRD coincidence. I had never heard of the DB Multiverse webcomic until 3 days ago (Saturday), I got to it by following a few random links on deviantart starting from the generic search "Goku vs. Superman", which crosslinked to other things and in turn to others (like a bunch of fan-art for fusion between Gohan and Videl, which is a really disturbing prospect if you ask me, but fortunately it seems to be arcane enough a notion for it to violate rule 34), but anyway, when I got there I just read the whole thing to date over the weekend. And as I read it, I watched the dates proceed through the last DECADE, as I got caught up to now, I watched as the years of the comments below each page passed from 2008 to 2010 to 2012 and 2014. So it's been around for a long, long time, and now suddenly here it is here on the front page of newgrounds, just as soon as I independently stumbled across it. Kind of like Dr. Who. I never even was aware of the 2005+ series revival until December 2012, but as soon as I did, suddenly it seemed EVERYone was talking about it, everywhere, especially on youtube.

DBM is awesome, by the way. Don't wait for more of it to be animated, go there and read the webcomic yourself. Way, way better, with way more life in it than the original show ever had. And way more scientifically literate too. They even had a hat tilt to the fact that there's no explanation for their powers but that they straight-up violate the first law of thermodynamics, and in doing so, that the implications of creating enough energy in a small enough place would be that its gravity would eventually become significant. Plus I learned a few things I never would have known about the original series because I would have never given it a moment's consideration again, it's been dead to me literally since the previous millennium, and I like what they did with the Boo who won in his universe, how he's basically a living universal repository of everyone and everything in his universe.

Interesting use of star trek sound effects at the beginning. But the sound quality and the acting in general is severely lacking and the choices of voices are really, really far off. The animation is not very fluid and is very shaky at times, kind of like watching Dr. Katz or Home Movies. Also in general I just don't think this thing is conducive to being actually animated. Way better to leave it as a webcomic. You did it about as well as anyone could expect with the animation part, but still, some things are better left in their original media forms.

bocodamondo responds:

thats your opinion, when i saw the comic for the first time, i instantly fell in love with it, HOWEVER i did wanted to see an animated version of it. you know, like an anime adapatation of a manga, i can imagine why you dont like, just like in onepiece, where there are MANGA -only fans, and ANIME-only fans, and the ones who watches both..like me. so just because you say theres no need to make an animated adaptation..im sorry but speak for yourself and dont say like its a fact that every DBM fan think so, because i dont. and since there was no anime-like version of the comic beside an old ass trailer from someone who never really finished it, i decided to do it myself iti . but i never said anything like this is better than the original comic, just an animated adaptation

ps. star trek? if youre talking about the inside PC room sound effect, i got that from Team Fortress 2 SFX.

[Passion of the Manwhore]

Oh god no, there's no way to stop it! The only solution, is to build a time machine, go back to the 1950s and hijack the TV broadcasts and preempt an episode of Leave it to Beaver with this looping over and over again. Actually I guess that wouldn't be a solution. But it would be pretty hilarious.

[Door to Door]

RedBling by any chance are you a MORMON?

The point was, it was irony. That's the point. That they go around claiming to be interested in "saving" people in a fake sort of way the way religions always do, making promises about rewards people'll get for falling for their religion, promises about the afterlife that they don't have the expertise to make which will almost certainly all disappear like a puff of smoke the moment you die, but then when the opportunity presents itself, they're ready to literally, actually save people, action movie star style. In other words, they're eager to give actual, tangible help and salvation. Frankly I don't see why anyone could get offended with this, whether you're a Mormon or not, it presents them in a positive light on a personal level, since they're not religious hypocrites.

I'd give it a 4 but I feel compelled to raise the average to try to counteract you as much as I can.

Brewster responds:

Haha if you look at redblings other reviews theyre all the same 0 stars "boring and pointless" so I'm not worried about it. Regardless though thats a real nice analysis and thanks a lot for being great!!

[Bad Elevator]

Must be a canadian horse. The South Park method of denoting Canadians, if you don't get what I'm talking about. What I'm talking aboot.

This is a decent animation of something that is not nearly as funny to anyone else as you think it is. Inside jokes are never funny to anyone else.

Yugimations responds:

I guess more background support should be provided. This is my take on a series on Youtube that does animated cartoons of the funniest and craziest parts that a Gaming Channel has. They gaming channel plays walkthroughs with other members, and every so often, an animator makes a small minute or so animation grabbing the funniest/ craziest parts of one of their walkthroughs.