Contact Info / Websites

Recent Movie Reviews

Messed Up Bible Stories13 Messed Up Bible Stories13

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Hmmm. Moses (Mike Peterson) sounds a lot like Charlie the unicorn. Though not quite. Meh. This is why I tired of that darkmatter2525 guy's junk in a hurry. It's just so.... unnecessary. And painful to watch. To anyone with a functional brain. I mean, I suppose there could be some people out there who are actually believers in that crap yet are intelligent and open-minded enough to be persuaded by something like this, but haven't they encountered it by now yet, and even if they haven't, I have a feeling they're still not exactly going to be the next Richard Feynmans in any case, so no big loss to the enrichment of intellectualism the world over there. To me it's just so unpleasant to watch, like an incredibly awkward situation in a sitcom, where I'm supposed to think it's funny but instead I can barely sit through it, because it's a reminder of how many ****tards out there believe that crap. It's like when theamazingatheist was just talking about that creationist chick who doesn't believe in the moon. I couldn't sit through that. I'll take the next in "The Wrong Advices" series over that any day of the week thank you very much, that's why I still watch him, because he hardly ever does get hung up on the religion card, he does other things mostly. Some things deserve to be parodied up to a point, but how can anyone at this point not be aware of just much material there is out there pointing out how stupid the bible is? Sure, they could be blissfully unaware and naive about the very existence of opposing worldviews back in the 1950s, but it's surely just at the point of extreme redundancy by now, they'll already have encountered it by now and if they've just refused to get the point already, it can only be because they've hardened their hearts so to speak, could this be the straw that breaks the camel's back, I doubt it.

But hey, it was as good as it could be, I guess. And the animation was high quality.

You Wanna See My Pecker? You Wanna See My Pecker?

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Now I'm glad that I'm so damn old. If I had seen this as a kid, I would have had nightmares. And I'm still kind of disturbed. Disturbing me, that takes a lot. Maybe it has something to do with how male birds don't have penises. Female mammals, they've got 3 holes, males have 2, but birds, male or female, they've got one, and it's called a cloaca. I'm not sure whether that makes mammals more nasty or less, though. Kind of depends on my mood at the time, I think. Certainly if mammals had multiple assholes, each additional one would be gross, so maybe it's only a human conceit to think of "one hole for it all" as being gross, whereas birds would think humans are nasty for having multiple holes. Oh well. It creeped me out and was funny so good job with that.

Silence of The Lamps Silence of The Lamps

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

I always thought that slurp thing in silence of the lambs was ridiculous and silly and not creepy at all like it was supposed to come off as. But why is he disappearing Marty McFly style? Is she going to go back in time later and turn out to be his mother, but if she doesn't take him seriously now, she won't get sent into the past?

People find this review helpful!

Recent Game Reviews

Silent Synapse Silent Synapse

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

WOW! I played the whole game with the computer muted, I keep doing that accidentally because of geico ads or ads almost as bad at the beginning (the other day I accidentally commented that a certain video ought to have sound because I accidentally left it muted and forgot - oops), but I had to turn on the sound just to see what was happening when I saw the comments and WOW. Indeed. Must have just been deliberately trying to make it as horrible as possible.

But an ok little game. Nothing special. But inspirational but not tedious or excessive about it either, nor does it really troll you.

TerribleDesign responds:

Isn't this dubstep what the kids listen to nowadays?

I'm glad that you didn't find it tedious. I have nerfed it like 3 times since it has been posted. What did you find inspirational about this game? I am genuinely curious about that.

Also, you can mute your browser, but have music open in you meda player of choice while playing games online. I must be one of the few people that still does this.

Idle Web Tycoon Idle Web Tycoon

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Meh. Like too many "games" before it. Like the jmtb02 one with the ? box which turns into nyan cat at the end. I'm tired of this now and I haven't gotten through it and I don't want to see if it has a similar ending, which it probably doesn't.

Kick The Critter Kick The Critter

Rated 2 / 5 stars

I saw with the introduction shot this is the maker of homerun in berserk land. I recognize that guy's name and appearance, a bunch of french dudes launching a nerd with a paddle in 2010. That was an ok game, equivalence to toss the turtle and a million others as it may have been. Of course even if I hadn't recognized him, it's obviously from the same game maker from the gameplay and the ostentatious launching devices and upgrades. The same sort of guitar hero type hardcore head bangin' air guitarin' cool dude style. Which makes it perhaps more of a disappointment to see right through it in all its tedium. I'm not a big fan of launch games in the first place, but this one, wow, I've never seen one with such useless upgrades. I get almost as far at the beginning as I do after buying a bunch of upgrades, and it's all because it doesn't matter how powerful the launcher is when you have so far to go, and it's entirely luck of the draw and reliant on where on the ground you land. Also annoyed that the things that ought to keep it going when you run into them, they really don't. When you get launched by the energy ball totin' robot, or picked up by a swarm, or shot out of a cannon, it makes no sense that your velocity after would depend on your velocity after, since you come to a complete stop in the middle, or in the case of the swarm, why is the swarm faster if you hit them faster? But that's the way it is apparently.

And the ULTIMATE in anticlimax is when you get to the end, with the boat symbol at the end, and you think you've finished the stupid game, but NO! It totally TROLLS you! It's like "nuh uh, that was just the end of the first ROUND. And every launch you start at the beginning of the first ROUND. And somehow you have to keep it going to the end of that and get to the end of the next one, with nothing but the most useless upgrades in the history of upgrade type games". And based on the minigames becoming available at such high level numbers, I'm apparently actually expected to launch many dozens, maybe hundreds, of times. Hell no. It took a lot of luck to actually get to the end of the first screen, and luck is something I have in very short supply. No, I have lots of luck. Bad luck. I'll win what should be a 9 in 10 bet less than half the time. So no. Lots of effort went into this. I can't imagine the amount of programming. I've written programs before. Not flash games, but programs. But I can't pretend I don't loathe it vehemently.

Recent Audio Reviews

DOOM Tribute DOOM Tribute

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

With the exception of ascendancy (and possibly the indy game on newgrounds No Time To Explain), doom had the best music of video game history - certainly the best MIDI music. That's one of the reason doom was so memorable and great. None of the music, for none of the levels, were songs that were annoying to get stuck in my head. They were always the sort of thing where I could hum them when running and almost like magic I would be able to cover a mile in under 5 minutes. There are at least 4 of them, which are so unspeakably epic that it's a wonder they all came from the same people. Whoever was the genius behind them. "Phobos Anomaly" from D1E1 was probably the best of all, followed by "The Pit" from Doom 2, "Tower of Babel" from D1E2, and then of course "Hangar" from D1E1, but maybe I'm biased in favor of that one just because it's where the legacy all began. Other notable memorable ones that come to mind were "Gotcha" and "Idol of Sin" from D2 and a few from which I'm not sure the map they came, but many of which are here. Trying to order them in descending awesomeness is difficult, because any one of them blows away almost any music from any other video game I ever played. They should have worked some of them into the 2005 movie somehow. Good god, has it been that long since the movie, how could that be.

But anyway, this largely does it justice. I like listening for the first few seconds and thinking back to the levels they come from when I recognize them.

People find this review helpful!

Recent Art Reviews

Augden Recapsulation Augden Recapsulation

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

He looks like the amazing atheist. If he had a brown beard instead of being blond all over.

Jebus H. Christ Jebus H. Christ

Rated 4 / 5 stars

I was pouring sugar and parmesan on venison the other day, when someone walked in the room and shouted "Oh deer sweet cheeses!" No, but that would have been really perversely stupid in a semi-funny way if it had actually happened.

Next image, have him using his halo like Kung Lao's hat in Mortal Kombat. Now that would be a sweet deer cheese. Eww. I shouldn't have phrased it that way. "Mom, I'm out to milk the deer!" "Make sure you're back before sunset, because that's when the giant demigod-eating cockroaches come out!" Ahhh, the memories of my childhood.

Ginyu Force! Ginyu Force!

Rated 4 / 5 stars

But isn't Captain Ginyu supposed to be looking at you between his own legs though? Ergo, this isn't ridiculous enough! I wonder if that armor and a scouter could be had for fairly cheap somewhere, though. That would make a worthwhile halloween getup.