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View Profile zortharg

191 Game Reviews

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It just goes to show, there's no holding out against frankenstein captain planet for long.

A 2-player-only chess game with no rule-checking or even impediment to putting 2 pieces on the same square? I'd say it has its place... if ONLY it actually let you reverse the perspective and make it rotate the board 180 degrees! This is useless even for playing with someone else using the same computer because you don't have a board available. Unless he looks at the screen upside down. Totally useless.

It's weird to think that the majority of the existence of the internet is now post 911 but it's weirder to consider this game comes from before bush the sequel. Unplayable with my frigging touchpad but whatever, not many computers had those when this was made either.

So what did the art thief say when he successfully robbed the Louvre yet his getaway vehicle ran out of gas one block away? "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh".

Boy, the maker of this thing sure likes to toot his own horn, bragging about where his parodies have been displayed and whatnot. Oh REALLY, they've been displayed in countries all over the world, huh. How delightfully vague. Where in those countries, I have to wonder, on the walls of bathroom stalls?

There's something wrong with this thing. First thing I noticed is that I am limited in how far I'm allowed to stir the image. It doesn't let me move pixels more than a certain distance from their origin points. I think it shouldn't do that. It certainly limits the fun I can have with it, and for no reason. I should be able to distort it and keep distorting it without it having a memory of its starting position to yank it back and oppose my further deformations. But then I REALLY knew there was something wrong with how it processes the image because now he's got 2 distinct heads and 2 distinct faces and 5 eyes between them. It shouldn't even be possible to turn one eye into two disconnected ones by stretching and skewing, let alone to turn one eye into THREE. I think you need to rethink the algorithm of what it does and what it considers to be an allowed move.

But I like the idea in principle.

I have a GWBASIC monopoly game (you know, the thing before qbasic where you have to have line numbers) that was programmed in like 1980 and it's better than this. By a lot. And capable of single player operation to boot. And what's with the creative liberties, turning it into chinatown monopoly and the 10 to 1 inflation with 2000 dollars when you pass go? Creative liberties are FINE when you actually have a good working game that has the principles down, and this is none of the above. Not a good game, that's for sure. It's also kind of chaotic and confusing. You should get the basic game right before you improvise. Seriously, no decent monopoly implementations on Newgrounds? There's "dice mogul" but I swear that thing cheats so hard! There's no way those numbers are randomly chosen.

This game is beauty incarnate. And the music. Wow. Unforgettable perfection. Possibly the best puzzle game ever. Shameful that it gets so neglected, put up in October 2010 and no reviews since 2010 until me. The only thing I don't like is that often times it puts important things off the screen where I can't see them and the only way to get the screen to pan in that direction is to MOVE in that direction and the results of that may be regrettable.

Legend has it you unlock a secret of some sort if you complete level 27 holding onto enough green moving right-turn blocks AND get the star, but I just did it with 2 green ones and that wasn't enough.

W (me): E2->E4
B: B7->B6
W: G1->F3
B: D7->D5
W: E4->D5(take pawn)
B: D8->D5(take pawn)
W: B1->C3
B: D5->E6
W: D1->E2
B: E6->E3
yeah. Guess the next move.
W (me): D2->E3(take queen)

EASY chess? No no no, you sell yourself short there. Call it RETARDED CHESS. Honestly, why did you even bother? Well at least it doesn't have the sort of bugs where illegal moves are performed or even worse, forced. Here, have 2.5 pity stars for that.

Woefully stupid AI, it just threw its pieces at me and I trounced it, it's shameful that THIS is the best one on Newgrounds, the only one even resembling one in fact! Also I was really hoping that when a pawn was promoted, it would have an animation of him going into a doctor's office to get a sex change operation, ha ha, but I guess the author of the game wasn't quite that creative. Really missed out on that opportunity there, that would have been funny and memorable.

stick01 it's funny and ironic you can claim to use correct "grammer", though I'm not sure if spelling counts as a form of grammar. All the same, I think you should go eat some grammar crackers, ha ha.

Oofda. Isometric graphics with 26.565 degree angles for the 2:1 ratio I'm guessing. You should make it 1:1 so it's 45 degrees and then rotate the whole image by 45 degrees so that up can actually be straight up and right can be straight right. But I'm quitting from that stupid guessing game where because the 3 dimensional structure is in fact a 2-d projection onto my computer screen, every step forward is just a 50 50 guess. If I want to play a game like that, I'll flip a coin, that would be equally interesting.

Joined on 12/21/13

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