zortharg's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Grocery Shopping Llama]

MAKE IT INTO A GAME! This shall be a game! I have decreed it! Thus it must be so. But you'll have to do it. Because I'm too lazy and or ignorant.

xXUnusualXx responds:

It is actually a game. A dress up game. But Im working on a platform game atm. After Ill make one using this Llama sprite Cx

[Horse Flank Redemption]

It's just as my mother always used to tell me, as we lept from tree to tree as they floated on the mighty rivers of British Columbia. "You can lead a gift horse by the mouth to water, but if you only give him a fish and don't teach him how to fish and he dies because he's only able to feed himself for a day, you shouldn't beat him when he's dead with a sleeping dog where he lies. Do you understand what I'm telling to you, child?" And I would say "yes mummykins."

I feel there should be the line "dead horse walking" used somewhere here.

Alsnowman responds:

We have a shortened version where i'm from. It's "Munhu uyu anopenga," which translates to "He who laughs last in the eye of the beholder is like finding a needle in Rome as two wrongs are mightier than the sword."
I may be paraphrasing slightly but thats the main gist of it.

[Cat Loo]

Ugh. I don't see the value in this. I guess it's fitting that the reviewer right below me was the maker of the video I just watched before about the stupid vegetables which I have the same opinion of. What is the joke even? What's the point? Silliness is ok, but a joke has to have SOME basis in reality to be funny. Cats coming out of the toilet has none.

RWappin responds:

Cats and toilets are based in reality

[I Like Vegetables]

I'm popeye the sailor man and even I think this is stupid. Augaugaugaugaug! It's just a really stupid joke. Something weird and random is ok but um, no, there's a limit to it.

Yusuf responds:

I don't see this as random - maybe weird. There is a clear flow and premise, and I wouldn't really count this as a joke, although it may have been meant to be funny.

[Luv Seats]

The interplay between the 2 couches near the mountain with the crashed flight 370 airplane, very much up filmcow's alley. Which is a good thing. Although filmcow would have it be interplay between a straight man and a psycho, not 2 snarky psychos, albeit the right couch more psycho and the left slightly more snarky. You know, the 2 ferrets, or the 2 llamas, or the evil detective cat and the other detectives, and of course charlie the unicorn against the 2 colored ones. Then again, it's kind of annoying how he follows the same formula so many times.

SploogeKitten responds:

yeah i'm a big filmcow fan and not the best voice actor so i guess the voice is heavily influenced. but that is a good point he does follow the same story structure like every time. but its usually pretty funny so i guess it works, personally I like the Spatula Madness best

[guilty pleasure]

I'm older than the guy who challenged the protagonist to the car race and I'm in a Chuck E Cheez ball pit right now. Yeah, you wouldn't want to meet me.

Just kidding. But you still wouldn't want to meet me.

But I reserve the right to judge anyone by their music tastes. I have to judge them based on something, right? That relates to personality after all, isn't it better to despise someone for liking Justin Bieber than to despise someone for being ugly?

tylerghardin responds:

hahaha. i suppose you have a valid point, but there's always the fact that someone who likes justin bieber could share your interests. what if the smartest man in the world listened to justin bieber's baby on repeat while finding the cure for cancer? i'm not sure that says anything about the artistic merit of the recording, but we certainly wouldn't judge him.

[Google Adventure]

On the other hand, even google can't hold up to my power to crash any stock I invest in. I can crash the whole market, all I have to do is buy one share in anything. I caused the "great recession" of 2007-2009, you know. That was all me. It wasn't Bush, or deregulation, or criminal negligence. Oh no. It was me. After much ado, someone talked me into giving the market another shot and told me I was being superstitious and irrational. I sold some far out of the money put options Monday morning (3-24-14) and within 15 minutes, I had turned 13720 dollars into just over 11000. The whole world is like "Oh NO! THAT one is betting on google not tanking! Oh my god, we have to sell our shares NOW! On no news! Oh god, we have to sell it all NOW, for ANY price, and damn the fundamentals!" Lucky for google I got rid of it at a loss. Yeah, that's not going to happen again. If I had held it any longer, probably all their servers would have been struck by lightning simultaneously.

Emptygoddess responds:

Well, you should stop buying stock.

[Nyan Cat - Genre Hopping]

Crapface that was impressive. I despise Nyan Cat but this manages to make it a million times cooler. No wait. This manages to make it -0.1 times cooler. Since it has a very very negative coolness already.

The music is impressive. You very professionally modified the music in various ways, from the "on hold" music to the UFO flying saucer music with the theremin, to the first one with the ancient cartoon with the piano track, and the Dukes of Hazard one and the bar in Star Wars. Oh THOSE LAST 2 are why I undoubtedly have to give it 5 stars. Also, by changing the music every few seconds, it keeps it from getting repetitive. Which is what is the single most hateable thing about Nyan Cat.

Are the headbanging rockers that come after the Star Wars bar and the gloved hand walking on the piano keyboard, are they Limozeen from homestarruner.com?

WoodTick responds:

Thanks for the review! Sadly, no, there's no homestarrunner reference in this video. The headbanging part is supposed to be Dethklok from Metalocalypse.

[Tank]

I could kick his ass. Because I know his weakness. The way to defeat him is to pull the pin on his "cup". His last words will be "Oh god no, I can't unfasten it from my crotch in time, what was I thinking, oh why did I use a grenade as a shield for my..."

You describe him as a "hero" taking out "bad guys"? In what sense was he the good guy and how were they bad guys? He smashed his bike into their establishment shooting first and then murdered anyone who fired back and also plenty who never fired a shot or aimed a gun at him. He's the bad guy. What, they're all "bad guys" just because they're sitting around a tough guy bar doing tough guy things? Or was it because they defended themselves against the invader who broke in guns blazing with guns of their own, and anyone who carries a gun is by definition a villain, unless they are playing the role of a hero? So they all deserve to die because they went to the wrong bar at the wrong time, and he's a hero for killing them unprovoked? Or is there a back story? Like everyone in the bar cooperated to kidnap his girlfriend or something? Yeah, I don't see that happening.

PsychoSpider responds:

The story behind Tank is that he is a part of a group nicknamed "Semi-Super", they are called that because they are not all heroes, and not all villains, but a mix of everything. Tank was born to fight, but when he was expelled from the military he no longer found a reason for it. A "super" named Gigabyte found him and gave him a reason again, and Tank continued to do what he does best for the sake of his own fighting code of honor. The story behind the bar is that he is given intel that a notorious biker gang uses it as a headquarters, and in order to prevent them from causing further damage to the people of the city, he had to bust in and break some heads open.

I hope this answered all of your questions.

[Arm Wrestle Fanatic]

SO true, the thing you said at the beginning. You know what actually IS everything by everyone? Frigging youtube. And that's the PROBLEM with youtube. That and the crap thing they did 2 months ago with forcing you to accept google+ if you ever want to leave another comment again except strangely on certain videos which are for some reason exempt.

I feel this is allegorical for something. But I'm not sure what. Maybe just a rebellion against the usual little engine that could hogwash about succeeding when you try your hardest and believe you can do it. Which is also so true. The animation and especially the acting should be refined though. The message is strong but the actual presentation is not.

TrueJackson responds:

Thanks for the review ,but that's not the message I was communicating. Read the description.