zortharg's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Trunks is a bad ass]

Well, some things deserve to be mocked, but I think you could find better things than that, and ....eeewwwwww. I don't understand the picture with the tricycle or bicycle thing. You do know this was supposed to be before he was even born, right?

Of course, it completely pales in comparison to DBZ abridged, as far as parodies go. You might as well try to satire something else instead. Or at least satire a stupider moment than this one.

kalevermilion, strictly speaking that's not a yaoi scene. Piccolo is genderless. But it's still plenty gross.

Me, I'm not going to shit my pants when I die. Because I will fast for many days before I die. I will also make sure I'm plenty dehydrated. Aha! See? I'm very tricky, aren't I? But one thing I'll be doing is dying with dignity. Of course, many people don't know when they're going to die.

DruoxtheShredder is the voice. A yes. I didn't recognize it on account of the fact that the damn thing is TOO DAMN QUIET! I have my volume all the way up and it's so quiet! Now I would explain to you all why DruoxtheShredder is awesome, except that THERE'S NO TIME! OH GOD! I CAN SEE MY BONES! I SPENT LIKE 2 MINUTES DOING MY HAIR IN THE MORNING, AND THIS IS MY REWARD!

nevarky responds:

Yeah, not really aiming for Team four star humor lol.

[Robbed]

Hmmm. Kind of a ripoff of "a depressed whale", I think. You should have ripped off Zulway God of Mercy or Gods of Olympus instead, those were much better. Well, it was ok. But I think if you're going to go to the trouble of making animation, you ought to make the actual content completely awesome. Kind of like when you see a webcomic with excellent art that obviously took a long time to make and spelling errors in the word bubbles, or things like failing to understand "your" vs. "you're" or "quite" and "quiet" that would take 30 seconds to do right.

GodLosifer what the hell, no this couldn't be an actual feature length movie plot. How can anyone capable of comprehending human languages think that? What the hell, it was a brief gag. And not even a very good one. Don't ever become a screen writer, you would end civilization. No wait. Yes. Become a screen writer. Because I want to end civilization. Burn it. Burn it all!

Brewster responds:

Never saw a depressed whale until right now. It doesnt surprise me that the concept of robbers robbing robbers has been done before though. Someone probably did it before filmcow, I guess this is just my take on the idea.

[Ultimate Yacht Battle]

Indeed, ho0d0o, I consider Sexualobster's work to be the primary purpose of Newgrounds. Just like homestarrunner.com used to be the primary purpose of the internet in general (R.I.P. Homestar/Strong Bad, 2000-2010), TheAmazingAtheist is the primary reason to go to youtube, as far as thing that are only to be found on youtube go that is, with filmcow as a sidenote, and sexualobster's videos being there too, and there being absolutely no conceivable reason to go to reddit, tumblr or least of all deviantart. Although on that note, I would revise your assessment to say that he and filmcow should get a collaborative show.

I loved the part with the condom, that was absolutely brilliant. And the "It's not enough" line after "I lost 100000 dollars at the craps table". REALLY. A negative number is not enough. Who would have thouht. But what exactly IS Randal? A woman with a hormonal problem, a man with a hormonal problem, or a hermaphrodite? Why does Fernando have a thing for Yogurt? And who would win in a fight, Gooseman or Popeye the Sailor Man? These questions, they must be answered!

Sexual-Lobster responds:

hey you didn't mention twitter, twitter is cool if you follow interesting people/orgs. also, tumblr can be great too, depends where you go.

anyway, glad you liked it, as to your questions, Randy identifies as a woman, I'm not really sure if she has undergone gender reassignment at some stage or is a hermaphrodite, that's her business really. fernando just likes the taste. gooseman would dominate popeye, no question.

[Dragon Ball Multiverse 3]

What a WEIRD coincidence. I had never heard of the DB Multiverse webcomic until 3 days ago (Saturday), I got to it by following a few random links on deviantart starting from the generic search "Goku vs. Superman", which crosslinked to other things and in turn to others (like a bunch of fan-art for fusion between Gohan and Videl, which is a really disturbing prospect if you ask me, but fortunately it seems to be arcane enough a notion for it to violate rule 34), but anyway, when I got there I just read the whole thing to date over the weekend. And as I read it, I watched the dates proceed through the last DECADE, as I got caught up to now, I watched as the years of the comments below each page passed from 2008 to 2010 to 2012 and 2014. So it's been around for a long, long time, and now suddenly here it is here on the front page of newgrounds, just as soon as I independently stumbled across it. Kind of like Dr. Who. I never even was aware of the 2005+ series revival until December 2012, but as soon as I did, suddenly it seemed EVERYone was talking about it, everywhere, especially on youtube.

DBM is awesome, by the way. Don't wait for more of it to be animated, go there and read the webcomic yourself. Way, way better, with way more life in it than the original show ever had. And way more scientifically literate too. They even had a hat tilt to the fact that there's no explanation for their powers but that they straight-up violate the first law of thermodynamics, and in doing so, that the implications of creating enough energy in a small enough place would be that its gravity would eventually become significant. Plus I learned a few things I never would have known about the original series because I would have never given it a moment's consideration again, it's been dead to me literally since the previous millennium, and I like what they did with the Boo who won in his universe, how he's basically a living universal repository of everyone and everything in his universe.

Interesting use of star trek sound effects at the beginning. But the sound quality and the acting in general is severely lacking and the choices of voices are really, really far off. The animation is not very fluid and is very shaky at times, kind of like watching Dr. Katz or Home Movies. Also in general I just don't think this thing is conducive to being actually animated. Way better to leave it as a webcomic. You did it about as well as anyone could expect with the animation part, but still, some things are better left in their original media forms.

bocodamondo responds:

thats your opinion, when i saw the comic for the first time, i instantly fell in love with it, HOWEVER i did wanted to see an animated version of it. you know, like an anime adapatation of a manga, i can imagine why you dont like, just like in onepiece, where there are MANGA -only fans, and ANIME-only fans, and the ones who watches both..like me. so just because you say theres no need to make an animated adaptation..im sorry but speak for yourself and dont say like its a fact that every DBM fan think so, because i dont. and since there was no anime-like version of the comic beside an old ass trailer from someone who never really finished it, i decided to do it myself iti . but i never said anything like this is better than the original comic, just an animated adaptation

ps. star trek? if youre talking about the inside PC room sound effect, i got that from Team Fortress 2 SFX.

[Door to Door]

RedBling by any chance are you a MORMON?

The point was, it was irony. That's the point. That they go around claiming to be interested in "saving" people in a fake sort of way the way religions always do, making promises about rewards people'll get for falling for their religion, promises about the afterlife that they don't have the expertise to make which will almost certainly all disappear like a puff of smoke the moment you die, but then when the opportunity presents itself, they're ready to literally, actually save people, action movie star style. In other words, they're eager to give actual, tangible help and salvation. Frankly I don't see why anyone could get offended with this, whether you're a Mormon or not, it presents them in a positive light on a personal level, since they're not religious hypocrites.

I'd give it a 4 but I feel compelled to raise the average to try to counteract you as much as I can.

Brewster responds:

Haha if you look at redblings other reviews theyre all the same 0 stars "boring and pointless" so I'm not worried about it. Regardless though thats a real nice analysis and thanks a lot for being great!!

[Bad Elevator]

Must be a canadian horse. The South Park method of denoting Canadians, if you don't get what I'm talking about. What I'm talking aboot.

This is a decent animation of something that is not nearly as funny to anyone else as you think it is. Inside jokes are never funny to anyone else.

Yugimations responds:

I guess more background support should be provided. This is my take on a series on Youtube that does animated cartoons of the funniest and craziest parts that a Gaming Channel has. They gaming channel plays walkthroughs with other members, and every so often, an animator makes a small minute or so animation grabbing the funniest/ craziest parts of one of their walkthroughs.

[I Can Eat These!]

Dare I ask what he and the youtube viewers think it sounds like. Because I'm trying to fill in the blank on that and I really can't.

It makes one wonder what the squirrel was eating before.

Yugimations responds:

The youtube comments express exactly what you are expressing now.

[Dawn and Dusk]

I have an engineering solution for you. Build a giant rocketship and use it to propel the moon straight into the sun. Then we can have wildly unstable seasons here on Earth, and with the tides less than half as strong as before, the coastline ecosystems will be thrown completely out of whack, but hey, the moon and the sun will be together. Until the moon gets vaporized at least.

Is this actually a myth from some ancient religion or is it something you just made up? And is there anything in particular the *evil* dragon was supposed to represent?

Yugimations responds:

That actually isn't a bad idea at all. Start production on methods to do this. And as for the story behind it, it was just something completely made up. The evil dragon I guess was supposed to represent the disorder in the world that is hidden in plain sight.

[Most Important]

It wasted your team Jewkie? What was your team trying to do before it was wasted by this video?

Religious symbol dominating the end. Hmph. Am I supposed to watch this and have my faith in a defunct religion reasserted or something? I think it would be pretty obvious by that point that a certain long dead carpenter who probably never lived in the first place was never coming back. You know how a religion dies? It dies when its followers die. That would be the death of that religion. Same thing happened to followers of Zeus and Apollo after all, the only difference is it didn't take the death of everyone, just for the population of the followers.

And if that wasn't the point of it, then it seems there's not much of a point to it, and even if it was, the story in any case is incomplete. I don't even know what the thugs wanted from him.

Cenaf responds:

If you cant find a point here, then there is non. Just like your and mine life, only a bit shorter.